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I was raised in a Protestant family. I left the Church at 16 years of age, was lost in the world for 18 years and gave my heart to the Lord in Tasmania in 1991 when I was 34 years old. My Protestant journey recommenced at that point, seeking for the Lord's Body in His Church; during this time I grew in relationship with the Lord Jesus as my Saviour & the lover of my soul, with the Holy Spirit as my teacher and healer, & then progressively with God as my kind and gentle Abba Father. In December 2009 I converted to Catholicism entering the Roman Catholic Church, Sacred Heart, Reefton. By this time I had begun to become aware that Our Lady, Mother Mary, was a very significant person in the scheme of things however I had lived a life time of being unaware of her presence.
I arrived at the Dove camp very self-conscious and nervous of the fact that the Holy Trinity was about to do some major healing in my life and that this would mean me opening up my heart in the presence of people whom I was just about to meet!! This was vulnerability personified!
I was greeted with wave after wave of beautiful soft, motherly love, and words which assured me over and over again that I was in a safe place! The fortresses of my alienation began to come down as inquisitive women began showing a genuine interest in me and prompting me to share my story with them.
On the Saturday Terry's ministry really began to take flight and the tears began! The Lord led a beautiful woman to sit beside me and she put her arms around me so I could cry; waves of deep pain began to flow out of my heart; she placed her hand on my head as, unbeknown to her, the Holy Spirit was healing me of the crown of thorns I had unknowingly worn as a result of the mental and emotional abuse of my first marriage; the pain of my son leaving home also flowed out; after a while I was able to hear her heart beating.
one voice! The beautiful worship was all Mother Mary's voice to me; the heartbeats I heard were her heart beating with love for me; all the hugs and all the gifts and graces I received were from her heart; I believe that at this time the Holy Trinity had stepped back and made the way for Mary to come forth to my heart and into my life in a way that I could receive and to give me, in one weekend, the maternal love of which I had been deprived in my life; She who had been hidden and unknown all my life was now revealed as my Mother.
On the Sunday morning during the worship and ministry time, whilst I was on the floor, the Holy Spirit took me back to the cradle when as a baby I had been left to cry for hours and hours every day, for months on end, when I had been deprived of maternal love; at that time through another beautiful sister I experienced my Holy Mother Mary holding my hand for a very long time, her hand was so heavenly soft, full and warm; another sister took me in her arms as I sobbed and rested against her breast comforted by the sound of her heart beating.
I believe my Abba Father was reconnecting me with my mother's heartbeat which I had not heard since I was in the womb. I heard Mother Mary singing - she had many beautiful voices through all my sisters in Christ who were singing and worshipping God around me, but she also had
This is the essence of my reflection of my first Dove Retreat; I was born in Nelson in 1957 and God in His wisdom gave me, in Nelson in 2010, this precious gift of maternal love through Mary, made possible through her beautiful daughters whose hearts were beating in tune with hers.
Many thanks to you all and to the leadership team who so faithfully seek God and make the way for Him to move in perfect love!